Do Not Leave Rory!

People, scroll up to the top of the screen and look at that face. How could anyone leave that face? Well, Human Female did, for five days. Human Male kept telling me she was coming back, and trying to comfort me with cheeseburgers, but hell hath no fury like a kitten scorned. Human Male woke up the first morning to find I had knocked everything off of her desk and tipped over the bag of kitty litter and spread it around the office. I am Rory! I shall not be ignored!

But now that things are back to normal, I can continue fulfilling my duties to you, dear readers of The Purrdict. There are certain phrases that, when said by clients cause lawyers hair to spontaneously shoot out of their head, ulcers to sprout, and wrinkles to form. One such phrase is, “But he can't do that!” Well, he can, he has, and if he hadn't, you wouldn't be talking to me. However, the most lethal of these phrases is:

“No, we didn't have a contract. It wasn't in writing.¹”

Shudder.

If you learn one thing from The Purrdict, it is this: I am adorable and should be worshiped. If you learn two things, the second is this: Oral agreements are binding contracts.

Where then, do we get the phrase “not worth the paper it's written on” in reference to a verbal contract? Let me explain.

Imagine that Pandora and I make a deal. Pandora does not need to wear a leash when she goes outside, I do. (It's super cute though, it has little skulls on it). Pandora, therefore, has the ability to catch chipmunks, which I do not. Meanwhile, I have a special, hidden stash of nail files, knitting needles, pencils and pens. Pandora and I agree that, in exchange for two chipmunks, I will give her two nail files, a knitting needle, and a pencil. Because we are cats, however, we do not write this agreement down. (Obviously, we do not use the pencil for writing, it is for chewing on, batting about, and all-around gremlin-ing.)

Our agreement is legal and binding.

A contract, however, is really only relevant when one party is in breach, (or has failed to live up to his or her end). Think of a prenup. If the couple never gets divorced, that baby is mouldering away in a safety deposit box somewhere, utterly forgotten. So, now imagine that Pandora only comes up with one chipmunk, after I've turned over the agreed-upon portion of my stash. “Breach!” I yowl. But what can I do about it? If I bring her to court, I have to prove that our agreement was for two chipmunks. Pandora asserts that the contract was only for one chipmunk. Our contract is not worth the non-existent paper it is written on because I cannot prove its existence to the judge.

I'm not completely, what lawyers call “screwed”, however. Remember, the problem is in proving the terms of the contract. Maybe I bring in a witness who overheard us make the agreement. Maybe I bring in another cat with whom I made the same agreement, to show that the value of the bargain was two chipmunks. Oral contracts are binding, but incredibly difficult to prove.

There are certain situations in which oral contracts are not enforceable in court, even if you can prove them. These are covered by “Statutes of Frauds” (and a collective shudder just went through the bones of any law students reading this). All states have these statutes, and the situations they cover are really pretty few, (i.e. contracts for the sale of real estate, contracts in contemplation of marriage, and wills).

Let's recap then. Lesson 1: Do not leave Rory. Lesson 2: Do not leave Rory. Lesson 3: Oral contracts are valid (except in certain situations). Lesson 4: Protect yourself against possible breach by writing down the contract anyway. Lesson 5: DO NOT LEAVE RORY.

1This phrase is all the more deadly when relayed well into the case, after the lawyer has asked repeatedly if there was an agreement.